pregnancy

Marathon Training with an Infant

August 2, 2016

(Once upon a time the only pictures my boys would take were silly face pictures….)

I have trained for full marathons twice while my girls were infants (Posey was 12 months when I ran my first marathon after having her, Lou was 8 months.) I don’t pretend to be an expert, but I’m here to pass along any tips that might help the moms of tiny ones out there. I compiled ten tips for training with an infant at home.

Listen to your doctor always! Duh.
When you start running again, take it slow and steady. Do not do too much too soon. Right after having a baby, your joints are still loose from pregnancy and birth, so be careful. Your health is top priority, training is not, so don’t injure yourself trying to make sure you’re ready for race day. Marathons will always be there. There’s no need to be in a hurry. (Read more about starting out here.)
Recruit a friend. Friends make everything more fun. And the extra girl time will be good for the soul when you’re used to talking in baby voice all day long.
Set realistic goals- for training and for the marathon. Just like how it is running your first marathon- sometimes it might not be the finish time or the weekly miles you log that should be the focus, but the shear fact that you are training and running a race after having a baby. That’s a huge accomplishment.
Do not, do not, do not beat yourself up for missing runs. You will miss training runs. Training and running shouldn’t add stress to your life- this is supposed to be fun, guys! Take a more relaxed approach. Keeping your stress levels low and caring for your family are number one. Your runs should not be.
Although I am a HUGE advocate of getting your training runs in before the kids wake up, I don’t think this should start until after baby has been sleeping through the night for a few months. I always give my babies 12 weeks to sleep through the night, then I let them cry it out (controversial subject I know, but that’s what I do.) After baby started sleeping straight through the night, I gave myself a few months of good nights of solid sleep before I made the goal of getting up early. It is hard work creating a human plus caring for them day and night- give yourself some rest! Then start getting up early to run when you feel ready (if that’s your goal.)
Don’t start dieting right away. I know for me, dieting is stressful. The last thing a new mom needs in her life is more stress. So don’t worry about weight loss right away. Give yourself time to adjust to your new normal. Worry about weight loss when you have a grip on the changes. (Read more about my weight loss in this post.)
If you’re breastfeeding and that’s your top priority, figure out first whether or not training affects your supply before registering/paying for a race. Some moms’ supplies aren’t affected by logging lots of miles, some moms’ supplies are. Either way, hydrate! (Read more about my crappy breastfeeding skills here.)
This next one isn’t necessarily running related, but be aware that you are wearing pregnancy/new mom goggles when looking at others from afar or on social media or even old pictures of yourself. Pregnancy/new mom goggles can obscure everything, and it can be discouraging. Whether it be running friends getting faster or running races or even non-running friends. Picture this: Your baby is up for the 12th time in the night and you are so exhausted you could cry. You start feeding baby and mindlessly open Instagram. Then you see your friend Alice. Alice is in Hawaii with her husband for their anniversary. Alice looks amazing in her swimsuit. Alice is skinny. Alice is full of energy. Alice has it all. Alice is perfect. Then you see Jen. Jen just ran a half marathon and PR’d and she just keeps getting faster and faster and she looks so fit! Then the tears come because, will I ever get to go to Hawaii? Will I ever be able to wear a swimsuit again? Will I ever be able to run more than a half mile again? Will I ever PR again? I’m here to tell you that you will sleep again. You will lose the weight. You will get speed and endurance. You will get to leave the house one day without your baby. And when that happens, Alice or Jen, or someone like them, will see your photo on social media and have the same reaction. A time and a season for all things, ladies. It is your time to care for the precious little one you’re holding and feeding for the 12th time tonight, and it’ll pass before you know it.
Make it a team effort. Marathon training is a team effort when you’re a parent, so this is especially true when there’s a new baby involved. I recommend sitting down on Sunday night with your spouse to let him know what days you would like to run that week and how he can help. When I was training with little ones, most runs took place pushing a jogging stroller, at the gym on the treadmill, or at night after Brian got home. My long runs were on Saturdays when he was home. A note about leaving Dad in charge: leave Dad in charge without any nagging or criticizing. Don’t tell him he’s holding the baby wrong, or he’s making the bottle wrong, or he put on the wrong outfit for bedtime. Let Dad and baby make their own routine. Dad is a grown man and I promise that you will come home and everyone will be just fine. He will make his own routine with baby and that’s a special thing. And don’t forget to thank Dad for his help. If you are thankful and grateful, then he will be more than willing to continue helping.

Did I leave anything out? I hope someone out there finds this helpful!!

Are you training for a race with a tiny one? Talk to me about it!! Also, can I babysit? 😉

Click to see my Full Marathon Training Plan for Beginners and Half Marathon Training Plan for Beginners.

Happy Training!!

Maury

Weightloss thoughts

March 15, 2016

Maury0146 I’ve read and seen several things lately that have me thinking about my weight and how it could possibly be affecting my PR goal. This article in particular got me thinking about my PR weight (and I didnt weigh myself that day, but I have a good guess at what it was.) This one was also helpful and informative.

So let’s talk about weight.

My body has a range of about nine pounds and on one end there is my “skinny” weight (when I say skinny, I mean skinny for me) and in the middle there’s my “normal” weight, and on the other end is my “cool it with the cookies, Maury” weight. I’ve been hovering between my average weight and my cookies weight for the past year and a half or so, and really haven’t given it much thought because of this simple fact: I am 35; If I want to see some major changes in my body, that will require major changes in my diet and sometimes, when I weigh those options, I opt for no diet changes (and the occasional cookie/s.)

On that same note, as I move further into my thirties, I find that my concern with what my body looks like becomes less and less of an issue for me. Health and balance is a priority, but not my appearance. Guys, I will never have a six pack and I am totally cool with that. (That does not mean I don’t think women with six packs aren’t rock stars, because they are- I admire their dedication.) Even if I did have a six pack, I wouldn’t display it for fear of anyone seeing my stretch marks anyway- no one wants to see that (I have my second, Cash, to thank for those. He was over 9 pounds, but I often joke that he’s my favorite, and the only child that could have gotten away with it.)

When it comes to weight loss, I am no stranger. With each pregnancy, I gained between 35 and 45 pound (it increased with each pregnancy) and I lost it each time. (Just for reference, because I know some of you might like to know, it usually took me about 9-12 months to accomplish this.) What also increased with each pregnancy? The difficulty in losing the weight. It became progressively harder.

With Connor (my oldest, he’s 12) I just became active. I was back in my jeans by the time he was about one. With Cash (he’s almost 11) I started running, and stuck to a nutrition plan that was given to me by someone at the gym (when I look at it now, it was based on balanced macros, it just wasn’t called that back then.) With Posey I lost my baby weight by substituting breakfast and lunch with a SlimFast shake (I was addicted to the Safeway store brand), ate a healthy dinner and cut out sweets (I had small, healthy snacks mid-morning and mid-afternoon and one cheat meal a week.) And with Lou, by the time I was ready to hunker down and lose those last stubborn 15 pounds, I became a MyFitnessPal addict and counted every single minuscule morsel that I put in my mouth (counted strictly calories only.)

So… Lou is 4 and I am my time of pregnancies and babies has come to an end. However, my body has gotten used to the pregnancy gain, birth, weight loss cycle and not continual maintenance. I’ve never had to worry about any weight loss more than a couple pounds here and there since I’ve lost my baby weight with Lou (which always happens quickly when I cut sweets, bread, fried food, and pasta.) I’m wondering now if I should jump on the weight loss train again to get to my PR weight? I know it wouldn’t take too long, but it would take dedication and it would take paying more attention to what I eat. Confession: honestly there are some days that, if I was keeping track, I probably take in WAY more calories than I should.

If I did take the time, I think it would be beneficial in many ways, but the most important way (to me) would be my speed. If my body fat percentage was a teensy bit lower (not too low), and I had a teensy bit more muscle, and had a body fueled and filled with good stuff, perhaps I could copy my PR body. (Is there a way to copy weather, training, and every other race factor????) I’m ready to do anything and everything to PR this year. Including limiting my cookie intake. That’s saying a lot, guys.

So… what do you think? What are your thoughts on this?

(There’s a really good chance that I’ll publish this post, then decide four hours later that it’s nonsense. If that’s the case, you’ve got to pinky promise you won’t judge.)

A Birthday, 2016 goals, and a greater plan

December 29, 2015

My baby, Lou, is 4 today. I kept squeezing her last night and telling her, “I have to keep squeezing you because this is my last night with a three year-old and I don’t want to forget what it feels like!” And then we played the game I always play with my kids before they have a birthday. I pretend to be really mad at them for not listening to me when I have told them not to ever get any older. She giggles and I tell her she’s in BIG trouble.

When the 2011 Boston Marathon was approaching, Brian and I were going back and forth on whether or not we wanted a fourth child. We were happy with three, and weren’t sure if we should shake up a good thing. We decided that after the Boston and Big Sur marathons, it would be now or never.

Our family, in spring of 2011, shortly after Boston:

We went to Boston, I ran the marathon and later that day, while still high on the Boston Marathon endorphins, told him, “I don’t think I’m up for another baby. I love our family how it is, I want to keep running.” He completely understood, and like I said, we loved our little family, so it’s not like he was set one one way or the other.

I would find out later that week, that my decision came too late. God had other plans in mind. Yet, when I discovered this, I wasn’t disappointed, I was so excited! And better yet, I knew that this baby was meant to be.

As I lined up for the Big Sur marathon just a couple weeks later, the last thing I did was put my hand on my belly and think, it’ll be bumpy for about four hours so you hang on tight in there, little one!

She proved tough that day, and she is still is one tough, stubborn little nugget!!! I adore everything she does. She is my little built-in best friend. She makes me laugh all day long. She is adored by so many. She is the ultimate encore. I don’t even want to think about what life would be like without her.

Four years later, I am STILL trying to PR.

But little Lou is worth a million PR’s and then some.

I’m hoping to PR this year. It is still a goal of mine. But if there’s anything that 2015 has taught me, it’s that PR’s are not why I run. There are other ways to grow as a runner besides setting a new record.

In 2014, with a 3:45 time at the Phoenix Marathon in the spring and then my 3:39 at St. George in the fall, I thought for sure that a PR (3:37 or better) in 2015 was in the bag.

I also thought, once upon a time in a Boston hotel room, that I would never be a mother to four. God had a greater plan.

The greater plan turned out to be way better than mine because the greater plan gave me Lou.

My plan for 2016 is a PR, but if the greater plan happens to be different, that’s quite alright with me.

Motherhood and Social Media

September 3, 2015

I like to keep things light and positive on all forms of social media, but I’ve chosen to steer in a different direction today because recently something hit very close to home. Excuse me while I get serious on this Thursday morning.

I have a friend named who’s an amazing mom, friend, wife, and daughter of God. If ever I find a random cupcake from The Sweet Tooth Fairy on my doorstep, or a Sonic gift card for a Route 44 drink, she’s usually the one responsible. She lights up any room she’s in and I completely adore her bubbly, outgoing, fun personality. In the short time I’ve known her, she’s made it onto my list of people I know I could call in case of a tragedy when help is needed. She is a good person and an amazing mother.

Last Monday she made a horrible mistake… She left her baby in a shopping cart outside of a grocery store. You might have heard the story already, but before you judge, please click here to listen to her full story.

Cherish has been bashed, judged, vilified, and criticized and I feel the need to say something today because I know her. And I know that this could have happened to me. It could have happened to anyone.

It’s not easy being a mother, but social media makes it harder than it has to be. Mother bullying happens everywhere and it can be ugly. Mothers post on social media about vaccinations, breastfeeding, diet, screen time, schools, the list goes on forever! I don’t unfriend many people on social media accounts, but when I do, this is the main reason. I don’t tolerate it.

In addition, social media trolls are all around us. I have experienced these individuals firsthand. They feed off of leaving hurtful, judgmental, critical comments. They hide behind their computers or smartphones and dissect other’s lives because it’s easier than taking accountability for the unhappiness they feel in their own. They must be ignored. Do not feed their negative energy. Unfollow any account that does not bring positivity or happiness to you- including me. Life is just too short.

As mothers, as women, we need to build one another up. Realize that we all have strengths and we all have weaknesses, but if we all work together, that balance can benefit everyone. If you can post a picture of yourself wearing a bikini with your three small children, don’t say, “What’s your excuse?” Say, “Your strength may not be looking great in a bikini, but you have something to offer this world and whatever it is, it’s awesome.” Build each other up. We’re all doing the best we can.

I have been known so many times to be sucked into dark places of motherhood guilt:

I once left a wiggly ten month-old Posey on a kitchen counter (right beside me) to make a bottle. She fell and broke her collar bone. I cried for days. I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t even take a photo of her tiny toddling little self wearing the shoulder brace because I was so ashamed.

I was determined to breastfeed Lou successfully for a long time. I had so many milk production issues before I had her, but I was determined to fight until the death to be a successful breastfeeding mom. Reading article after article on social media about how breastfeeding moms are (essentially) better moms didn’t help either. I tried and tried and tried for two months. I agonized over trying everything to up my milk production. On top of the many stresses that a new mother must experience with my fourth baby, I was constantly worried and stressed unnecessarily about this one thing. Weeks passed and she wasn’t growing. She was hungry constantly. Brian begged me to be able to give her a bottle, but my pride was too strong. Finally, on the Sunday that Brian gave her a baby blessing at church, I took a thousand pictures, but couldn’t look at them. She was so tiny and her little legs were so thin. After that day, Brian and I had a long talk. Ultimately, I chose to do what was best for me and my baby, and not what others believed was best. That was a huge turning point in knowing what kind of mother I am. An enormous burden was lifted off of my shoulders once I saw her drinking bottle after bottle and after slowly watching her little legs gain roll after roll. I only wish those mothers posting such negative things online about bottle-fed babies knew what kind of sadness they were creating in other’s lives.

I’m no perfect mother. I feed my kids goldfish crackers. I give them vaccinations (although I think this is the smart thing to do.) I bottle fed them for much of their infant life because I sucked at making milk. I let them play on iPads. On more than one occasion I have lost track of them and found them barefoot at the park down the street. I have fallen asleep feeding a baby and woke up to find my toddler naked on the kitchen counter eating peanut butter from the jar. But, I’ll tell you what. I am a good mom. And I love my kids like nothing you’d believe. Like my friend Cherish said, “No one could love my kids as much as me.” It’s true.

I was put on this earth to love them. I was not put on this earth to tell you or anyone else that I’m doing it right and you’re doing it wrong. I don’t have time for that- I’m just trying to hang on over here. I’m guessing that you are, too. So let’s just tell each other how awesome we’re doing and get back to receiving slobbery kisses while watching Netflix and eating chicken nuggets.

And when a fellow mother makes a mistake, we need to rally and lift up. A mother’s guilt is punishment enough. You, me, her- we’re all doing the best we can. How about we just give each other a big squeeze and bring each other a treat for heaven’s sake.

This mothering stuff isn’t easy.

I’m Pregnant with a Marathon Baby

June 1, 2015

(Above: Pregnant with Lou in 2011)

I’m pregnant with a marathon baby. My “due date” is fast approaching.

I’ve always said that training for a marathon has a lot of similarities to pregnancy. Yes, they’re very very different but here are some ways the two can compare.

(No I am not actually pregnant and assuming everything goes as planned, I never will be again.)

1. I hobble when I get out of bed: I’ll ran 231 miles in the month of May. My joints are doing great, but when I first get out of bed in the morning I have to hobble. My ankles ache, my calves are tight, my hips don’t want to move. When I was pregnant I had to get up throughout the night to use the bathroom and not only did it take a full three minutes to get upright, but I also had to hobble to make it to the bathroom.

2. Hunger is never ending: The hunger is always present. I’ll get full, but I know that hunger is right around the corner. I think about food when I’m eating food and then I eat until I’m full, but I still want more.

(Lou’s positive pregnancy test, spring 2011)

3. I’m tired: I’m not nearly as weak and tired as when I am pregnant, but logging lots of miles with an early alarm can leave me worn out and tired.

4. Nesting: I prepared for my peak week long run like I was preparing for a newborn being brought home. I knew that I would need extra time to rest my legs so I got all the laundry done, car washed, and doing my best to maintain order so that it didn’t get out of hand.

(Pregnant with Cash in 2005)

5. It’s always in the back of your mind: Like pregnancy, others around you might forget that you are training, but it’s always a thought in the back of your mind. You think about training, race day, your runs coming up- it’s important to you.

6. Take it week by week: Training is measured in weeks like a pregnancy. Each week finished is a milestone, and then on to the next. Right now my marathon baby is almost full term. Less than two weeks to go 🙂

(8 months pregnant with Lou, 2011)

7. Due date and Race day: For months and months you have this date in your head that you’re preparing for. Many things you do and plan for throughout your day revolve around this date. The benefit to race day is that it will definitely happen. A baby is a little less predictable. Ever had a baby past your due date? The whole day you’re thinking, “This is the day I’ve been counting down to for 8 months. Where is my baby??”

(Connor meeting 2-day-late Cash, April 2005)

8. Race day and giving birth: Race day and giving birth both require patience, endurance and being tough. And at the end you’ll either get handed a baby or a medal. They’re both magical in their own way, and they will both change your life for the better (one obviously on a much larger scale.)

(Newborn Posey Quinn, October 2008)

9. You can’t do it all on your own: For a baby and for training, it takes a team. I couldn’t survive caring for a newborn without the help of B and friends. I couldn’t train for a race, either. He lets me nap on Sundays as long as I want, he arranges his schedule so that he can go to work later on Fridays for long runs, and without the help of training with friends, I know there are some days I wouldn’t even get out of bed.

(B and newborn Posey Quinn, October 2008)

10. Memory Loss: Throughout pregnancies and marathon training there are always thoughts of “There’s no way I could ever do this again.” Then as soon as your medal is around your neck, or your beautiful, amazing, sweet baby is in your arms those thoughts turn into, “When’s the next one?”